Has organising, and attending, hen parties become toxic?

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A hen party. Woo hoo, right? But, after you’ve listened to enough bridesmaids you’ll probably know it’s often seen as a slight ‘chore’; for even the hardiest of hens. Rounding up invitees, chasing deposits, minimising the moaning… the list goes on. So, why has being invited on a ‘hen weekend’, turned a bit acid? The thought of having to plan one is the kind of thing that may keep you up all night, counting pennies instead of sheep.

The amount of money spent on hen, and stag, dos has possibly gotten a little out of control – agree? There has been a rapid descent over the past ten years from ‘night out in town’ to ‘weekend/week away’ either abroad or somewhere on a train, with more activities than you’d need to keep any keen partygoer busy for a year.

‘Activities’… Yes! Activities like: burlesque dancing, biscuit making and watching a stripper dance on a pole while teaching you how to sing, then ploughing through an afternoon tea just before dinner, and making a flower arrangement… When was it decided that these mainly crap ‘activities’ have to be part of a hen weekend? But, as it turns out, half your closest friends cannot afford to go on the weekend/week away because of all the non-stop ‘ker-azy’ activities on the packed agenda… Fun doesn’t have to be expensive. And I know you have had similar conversations, I’ve listened to loads of them.

What do you think? How do you feel about organised fun? Let us know buy commenting below…

Going abroad or away in this country could actually be a great idea – if the attendees are close friends who would be keen to go on a holiday together, anyway. And if there is enough notice given for people to be able to budget for it. Personally, for my friends and family, I will save up if I need to, to be able to enjoy the choices that they make. But the key element here, is ‘choice’. If you really want to go abroad – why not have a UK/hometown based hen doo, too, for people who can’t make the more expensive one?

But overall, maybe we should just take things back to basics, and rediscover the fun. You know what makes you and your friends laugh the most – usually the free stuff like playing games and reminiscing over plenty of wine. Surely the most important thing is being surrounded by your friends and family who will be attending. Rent a cottage or clear your house, buy in food and drink, and go nuts. Or go abroad and bask in champagne parties – but make sure the people who you really want to be there are able to join the party. It’s who you’re with, not where you are, that counts.

What do you think? Let me know, by commenting below…
You and Your Wedding magazine has a great section on its website for all kinds of hen party ideas, for all type of personalities


  1. lee christie
    May 8, 2016 / 11:44 am

    I’ve never been invited to one…

  2. May 24, 2016 / 11:17 am

    I totally agree, trying to find cheap hen party ideas has become harder and harder. I want my friend to have an amazing time but at the same time, most of the hens have houses and babies so you have to make sure you budget for it! It’s hard work.

    • May 24, 2016 / 11:25 am

      Yes, sometimes it can be tiring trying to please everyone… With age comes (expensive) responsibility, so maybe we should stop trying to compete, and get back to basics!

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